I created this page because every so often my friends/family say things that I just can’t help but write down.

 

Speaker: Lindy Tucker

Quote:  ” I don’t want to carry condoms around because I don’t want to look like a slut, but I’d be happy to have sex in the bathroom if he would just bring one with him.”

 

Speaker:  My Mother

Quote:  “But…but, they might think you’re a terrorist.”

 

Speaker: Lindy

Context:  She brought up the fact that she has had sex under a waterfall, and while I thought that could be cool, I also thought there would be some inherent difficulties, like breathing with a constant stream of water in your face.

Quote:  “Yeah, well it’s even harder to breathe with a dick in your mouth. After that, water isn’t much of an obstacle.”

 

Speaker:  Cameron (talking about Phish)

Quote:  “There’s something about those guys that just makes me want to cum on my own face.”

 

Speaker:  Lindy

Quote:  “If you’re gonna be drunk and dramatic and curse somebody out, have some class about it.”

 

Speaker:  Random Lady at the Bar

Quote:  “He’s not on any social media sites.  That’s how you know he’s a real whore.”

 

Speaker:  Joe

Quote:  “I don’t care about the L, the B, or the T.  I just wanna be G, and be left alone.”

 

Speaker:  Lindy

Quote:  “I masturbated so hard today I broke a bunch of blood vessels in my face.  Now, my mom thinks I have a rash.”

 

Speaker:  Lindy

Quote:  “I’m not pregnant so hard right now. Every time I go to the bathroom it’s like a fucking crime scene.”