As most anyone who is reading this probably knows, I’ve recently up and moved to the other side of the planet. Almost everyone I meet and/or talk to asks “Why?”, and the answer I provide varies depending on who is asking. For potential employers, I spout off some finely tuned bullshit about always wanting to be a teacher and how my particular aptitude with the English language could never be fully appreciated amongst the systemically entitled youths of my home country (yeah, I’m getting pretty good at lying—it’s scary). If I’m being asked by a stranger, I say that I wanted to see the world, or at least the parts that still openly allow Americans; and if I’m trying to sound cool, I’ll say “I was bored, and somebody told me it was a good idea.”

In reality, I came here because, in the course of my existence on this planet, I’ve fallen into the habit of being a gigantic pussy. Whenever I’m faced with a difficult decision, I almost always take the path of least resistance. Even when I do stray away, it’s always in short range of my comfort zone, and the minor vices found therein. I’ve always just sort of gone with the flow. College? Sure, sounds fun. Major? I don’t know, ask me later. I’m going to go get lit. Job? Ugh, whatever’s easiest.

As the tag line of this blog so aptly explains, I’m an underachiever through and through. There hasn’t been a single point in my life in which I can confidently say that I gave it my all; that I reached down and tapped into my true potential. Hell, I’ve only ever even scratched the surface when I had to, when my back was against a wall, and quitting wasn’t an option.

So, for the first time in my life, I committed to something that scared me. I did my homework, resisted the urge to procrastinate, and signed on for the long haul. I was proud of my work, and when the time finally came to depart, I handed my plan to the universe with head held high.  And the universe accepted my hard work, smiled at me, and said “Wow, good job Andy. I’m so proud of you.”

Then, with the smile still on his face, he turned, dropped my plan into a blender, and said “Now go fuck yourself.”