I was recently introduced to this landmark achievement in the effort to streamline social networking.  This free and simple application champions the approach of quantity over quality in mankind’s relentless search for adequate sexual partnering, by encouraging its users to judge potential companions based on physical appearance.  I should probably note that the app does not outwardly advertise itself in this manner, nor does it encourage its users to use it that way.  However, if you’ve ever used it for more than ten seconds, you know what I mean when I say that superficiality is the name of the game.  All you do is indicate your gender preference and age range, and the application will provide you with photographs of people in your immediate area, who you either approve or disapprove with a swipe of your thumb.  If someone reciprocates your meaningless gesture, it will notify you of the match and give you the option to open up a private chat.  It’s pretty much the exact same social exercise that a (not necessarily) single man or woman engages in at a bar or night club, but without the need for interpersonal skills of any kind.

When this app was first explained to me, I immediately adopted an air of moral superiority.  Then I tried it, only to find that I’m significantly more shallow than I had previously chosen to believe, mainly because the app allows you to reject someone without actually rejecting them, freeing the user (me) of all guilt and responsibility.  Not that I was naive enough to think that I’m not shallow, because I am. Everyone is to some degree, but the severity of it boils down to how many repulsive personality traits you can ignore simply because someone is hot; and adversely, whether or not appealing personality traits can redeem an individual’s lack of aesthetic beauty.  Personally, I cannot stand ignorance or conceit no matter how hot a girl is, but a strong sense of humor can make someone exponentially more attractive.  Nevertheless, personal attraction begins at the physical level, as people tend to focus on individuals who are as, if not more attractive, than they perceive themselves to be.

If you’re intrigued by their looks, but not entirely sold, you can peek under the surface for a few more pictures and a short blurb that each person chooses to serve as representation of their entire personality.  I know it’s not the most effective way to express one’s self, but if you know how take the pictures and words at rhetoric instead of at face value, it can tell you much more about the person than they would have preferred to let on.  For example, I noticed one very popular pose that requires two girls (I assume for structural support).  They each put an arm around the other’s lower back, which connects them like a hinge as they’re bodies swing outward with one knee bent and their free hands placed firmly on the opposite hip.  These girls are traditionally donning tight skirts, heels, and these manufactured Stepford smiles that in no way suggest an original thought has ever entered their head.  It’s solely for the sake of these individuals that I wish the app would notify you when you’ve been rejected, and I wish I could tell them why.  Not because I take pleasure in tearing people down, or am secretly vengeful for some personal rejection I received from the Barbies in high school*, but because simply being hot gets you no respect, only a shallow form of admiration.  Even prostitutes get that.

*I reserve the right to retract this particular statement upon further, hypothetical examination of my subconscious.