I swear I wasn’t high when I wrote this

Disclaimer: the following is based on nothing even remotely resembling a reliable source. 

Humans have evolved to such a point, and in such complete domination of every other living thing around us, that we no longer need our baser instincts. We don’t need to fight for survival. Unless of course you live in a country ravaged by epidemic or war, but I’m not talking about people with actual problems. I’m talking about Americans. We buy our food in mass quantity, with everything we could ever need conveniently located at the corner store. Our meat comes from a small, airtight package, instead of a rotting animal carcass that we had to bring down ourselves. Fresh water is pumped directly into our homes. All we have to do is turn a nob, and out comes instant nourishment. We use solidified water to keep our other water cold, because the building blocks of life need to be a certain temperature or their not worth drinking. When water pours from the sky by the hundreds of gallons, we consider it a bad day.

People used to measure the passing of time not by the year on the calendar, but by how many winters they had survived, because that shit was an achievement. It was something you prepared for months in advance, cutting wood and storing food, so your family didn’t starve, or freeze to death. Today, we get pissed when we have to wake up 15 minutes early to clear the snow off our car. But who would want to leave the comfort of their home? All we have to do is flip a switch and heat is pumped into a ventilation system (that we don’t know how to build) which runs throughout our entire house.

We can’t even imagine the worst case scenario:  having to huddle together with our family around a shitty little fire, praying that everyone makes it through the night, but secretly hoping someone doesn’t, because it’s been three days since we’ve eaten anything and our little brother’s calf is starting to look more and more like a drumstick. And he’s so small and weak, there’s no sense in all of us starving when he’s probably going to die anyway.

I always find it funny when people talk about what they would do in the event of a zombie apocalypse, because the vast majority of us wouldn’t be able to survive. Fending for ourselves? Fuck no.  Most of us don’t know a thing about survival, because our evolution as a species has made our most basic needs a non-issue. The people in charge of the human race, i.e., the ones actually advancing us as a species, have built the necessities into our every day lives, allowing the rest of us to slack off, and forget how to endure hardship. Instead we worry about stupid shit, like the Oscars, or how our pro football team is playing, or why our favorite porn site is down, again. Even after you check the connection, and restart the computer. Now I have to use my imagination? What am I, in 6th grade? This is horse sh–

Sorry…I uh…I may have been projecting a little bit on that last one.

In other words, mankind has become so intelligent, that intelligence is no longer necessary for our survival.